Well, None of Us Had 2020 Vision

I am a mere 17% sorry for that awful pun.

2020 was A Year and doesn’t deserve better.

Full disclosure: I did really love spending 4 months with my family, in this place. Covid and quarantine was absolute shit tho.

In my brief reflection I do want to start this off by acknowledging that I did get very lucky this year. While I had passed on my job and housing in Washington (in preparation for an epic road trip that was supposed to start at the end of March), I was able to get to my home town and crash at my childhood home for four months while I figured out my next steps. I was able to find, at first, a short term job in Maine, and then a longer position at the farm I am currently at in Montana. I’ve lived in four states this year, and haven’t worried too much about getting sick (mind you- I’ve been what some would consider “overly cautious” regarding protective measures). I even got to spend a significant chunk of time with a dear friend who in our seven years of friendship, we’ve only been able to see each other once a year tops (And that’s not counting the week I spend in London visiting a year ago now, those were some magic cheap plane tickets).

Not to say any of this was easy- my first sprint across the country and subsequent quarantine in one of the (well insulated and heated) outbuildings at my parents was awful (Also Ma & Dad, sorry if you’re just finding this out- IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME. Also never bring this up, lol. I don’t want to get into details). I was an anxious mess the entire drive, and then lonely. There were a couple short bouts of paranoia, and a rather embarrassing number of podcast episodes binged (Thank you The Magnus Archives for Paranoid Jon in S2 that surprisingly grounded me because AT LEAST fear avatars aren’t real and therefor can’t kill me) (Only the coyotes and werewolves and somehow carbon monoxide could and that is BAD ENOUGH).

And while I miss my WA friends something fierce, this time gave me space to really reconnect with my younger brother (who will be the voice of Cooper in my podcast, Letters to Georgia) (hi dude), and really reinforce the importance of self care and creative work in my life. I am absolutely miserable with both, and since this spring, have been making solid strides towards improving both of those.

One of the highlights of this year was skinny dipping in this lake in Maine. And then seeing a moose perfectly framed by Mt Katahdin later that day.

2020 laid the foundation for a lot of the larger projects I am tackling this year (which can be found summarized in the menu, can’t remember what I called it but pretty sure its “WIP” or something similar), including Letters to Georgia, and a novel whose characters have been in my head since college.

There’s no guarantee 2021 will be better than 2020, but the act of naming a new year in itself is giving us space to clear the sheet and start fresh and new, and I will be carrying that energy forth as best I can in the ways I can change in my own life.

2020 can beg at my heel- here’s to improving 2021 in whatever small ways we can, Sabrina and Willa